Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
We left an ass print on the piano.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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