Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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