absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
