My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
