its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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