Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.

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(314): View more from Missouri

his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?

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(360): View more from Washington

Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.

(1-360): View more from Washington

You win. Erica always eats cat food.

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(440): View more from Ohio

Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks

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(613): View more from Ontario

i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer

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(740): View more from Ohio

I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.

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