Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
