Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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