i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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