Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
