spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
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