they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Randomize
