I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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