should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
