How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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