Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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