Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize