i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Alive.
So much puke
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
