She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
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