I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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