Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize
