i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize