i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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