Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
