Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
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