Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
