I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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