Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
50% drunk capacity currently
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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