so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize