I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
