his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
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A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
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I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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