You really coming over, don't trick.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
