Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
