Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize