What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
