Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
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Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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