dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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