bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize