Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Randomize
