If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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