he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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