i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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