so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
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I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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