I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
