i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
