the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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