the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize