Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
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