i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
