Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
