wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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