lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Your face is a jimmy john
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Randomize
