She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
