hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
